I don't mean to be a downer...

but we have less than a week left. Still, we spent another day at this food market.

Back at Le Pain Quotidien which, apparently, I've been to before in the states. Mattie said we went there and had mint lemonade while I was visiting him in LA last summer. It's actually kind of funny because Dan and I kept thinking we were finding these sweet little one-of-a-kind places, but practically every one has been part of a restaurant chain. Well, I can say this---the London restaurant chain is different than the American restaurant chain. Le Pain Quotidien ain't no Olive Garden. Funny though. Capitalism is alive and well...and London tricked me.

So at this time next week we'll be home and I'm trying not to do that thing. That thing I do. That---oh, this trip is practically over and there are so many irritating realities to return to and it's stressing me out so instead of enjoying this last week in London (and our trip to Paris) I'm going to start worrying now about everything so that I can expend lots of energy, accomplish nothing, and waste our last days here. I'm trying not to do that. Really trying.

Here's the thing: We're out of money. So we're charging. I know...I'm sorry Suze. It's not entirely our fault (though I'm sure Suze wouldn't see it that way). During our first week here I called home to check on my car which I had left with a mechanic to be fixed while we were gone. $2000. It cost fucking $2000 to fix it--- work I might not have done were it just me and not not my favorite six-year-old girl riding around in there. (You may remember that the original mechanic I went to---Sir Isaac Asshole---quoted me $2000 for just a catalytic converter. This guy---a friend of my sister---gave me the catalytic converter, a new muffler and exhaust system, changed all fluids and fixed a few other things---basically gave me at least two more years with the car---for $2000.) So, while the price was steep, it was a good long-term investment. But it took more than we expected it to out of our London fund.

On top of that, the dollar is apparently worth dick over here. The rate we've been getting (at the bank) is about $1.71 to the pound so $330 is getting us 200 pounds. This "Monopoly money," as Dan's been calling it, is killing us. Basically it cut our savings in half and on top of that, London is an expensive place, so we're getting bent over in every possible way.

That said, we figured all this out pretty early and still ate meals out every day and still bought tickets to fabulous shows and even did a little shopping. And I wouldn't change a thing. We made up our minds to enjoy ourselves---even if it meant a little charging---as a four-week trip to London probably won't be something we get to do again. This is why you charge. (Plus, we're only doing it to get through this last week.)

Still, it stresses me out. The last two years of our life (almost exactly as our anniversary is two days away) have been built around principles that absolutely oppose this sort of thinking. No Charging. Ever. I know how it adds up. I've made messes and cleaned them up. I've learned this lesson over and over again and yet here I am.

But what am I to do? Tomorrow we leave for Paris (Paris!)and I'm supposed to start cutting back now? Fortunately most of our pleasure in a new city is derived from wandering around on foot and sitting in cafes and people watching but we'll undoubtedly want to splurge on a dinner out here or there. It is our anniversary. In Paris. We bagged Ireland early on (a decision based more on time---we were loving London too much to want to leave---and not as much about money) but I'm not about to bag on Paris. (All hotels and train tickets are bought and paid for anyway.)

When we're home we live tightly. We rarely eat out and I have about three meals in my back pocket that can get us through a whole week without having to grocery shop. We have a budget and Excel sheets organizing this budget and turn off (and unplug!) as many things as we can to save on utilities. We're returning to that life in six days. Surely the next six should be different.

This is me not worrying? Not stressing?

Sort of. Just laying it out there, figuring it out.

We've gotten most of the big stuff out of the way. We went on a huge theater bender...It started with Billy Elliot and Sister Act and then moved on to Avenue Q, an Open Air Theatre performance of Hello, Dolly! in Regent's Park---Dan and I with a bottle of wine on a park bench before the show and then Hello, Dolly! under the stars---one of my favorite moments of the trip--- and finally The Lion King. So, again, I don't regret a thing. I will only regret wasting time with worry as I have done so many times before.

It's Sunday in London. The plan today is to pack a picnic (a hamper) and lunch at the park (free) or Kew Gardens (13 pounds but something I really want to see). Not exactly "I'll take a bottle of your finest," right? Just a good day spent in the London sun. (Yeah, there's sun!)

Enough with the worry and out with me. That's the only way to ensure that later on, looking at our bills, I'll be able to say it was worth it.