I'm such a techie.

Counting the printer, that's seven gadget-y things I was playing with. (That's what she said.)

I’ve spent literally 20 of the last 36 hours on my new computer and have accomplished the following:

1) Transferred 13 pictures from 2007 to external hard drive.

2) Completed several multi-step procedures (recommend by the Mac gurus who post on the message boards as this is the level of dorkdom to which I’ve been reduced) involving something called a DNS server in an attempt to get the Mac’s internet web browser to increase from its current pace of punch-the-screen-slow.

3) Erased all music from PC (while trying to move music from PC to hard drive to Mac) except for that which is performed by artists whose names begin with either C or D. Cyndi Lauper and David Cook, you survived. (I believe everything else made it onto the Mac and the visual I have of this is of little music notes clinging to a dock having jumped from the boat before it blew.)

My transition from PC user to Mac-hole has not been pretty. Tasks that I used to be able accomplish in a matter of minutes while chatting on the phone now take several afternoons and serious focus. Much of this is due to the fact that the font in most programs is too small for me to read and I don’t know how to fix it.

Let me be clear: I love my new toy. It’s just that it makes me crazy fucking mad.

And it also makes me slow. So very slow.

And while I have to admit to longing, at times, for the simplicity of my old familiar Dell (and to having mammoth tantrums about this), I recognize that this is part of the transition process. Despite wanting to, I never did end up saying fuck this bike riding shit---which is exactly how seven-year-old Lola would have put it---when I couldn’t yet balance on two wheels. So, I’m still in it. I’m still trying. (As I write this, the screen is getting mysteriously darker and I don’t know how to fix that either.)

I am committed to figuring this thing out though (and the brain pain is, at times, a welcomed distraction) so I’m giving myself the two hours I require to do things like find my address book or rename a photo. This is a change from my usual approach to a technological roadblock which involves whining about the problem incessantly--- “It’s doing something weeeeird!”---until I wear Dan down and he fixes it. I figure trying on my own is the only way to really learn...teaching myself to iFish, I am.

I’ve been so focused these past couple of days on getting things off the PC before it's gone for good that I’ve not even had the time I’d like to play with the Mac's bells and whistles. (It took the word “play” preceding it to make me see that the term ‘bells and whistles’ sounds sort of dirty in a fifth grade sort of way.)

I’ve dabbled with all the fun stuff like GarageBand and iMovie but I still don’t really know how to use them properly. I did apparently figure out Photo Booth though. This is an application which allows you to take photos of yourself with the built-in camera and then offers various ways to distort the photos. I chose to get familiar with this particular product on a night when I had taken an Ambien to help me catch some much-needed Zzz’s. For those unfamiliar with Ambien’s effects (at least on me), I will just say that I rarely take it without Dan there to supervise because a) it puts me in the mood and b)before passing out cold, I get a little wacky. (I used to tell Dan that “I know it’s working when the shells on the wreath in the bathroom start moving.)

I didn’t remember this photo shoot until a few days later when Dan reminded me and I might not have believed it without seeing the photographic evidence for myself.

I was drugged (iDrugged!), I don’t know what Dan’s excuse was.





Yup, the new Mac's totally worth it.