Where I'll be in three days...

You know I'll recreate this picture if I can.

Shit, you guys. I promised myself I would put something up here in the handful of days I had between getting back from Texas (Tuesday) and leaving for vacation with Dan (tomorrow) but my handful got diminished due to travel complications and now I am just so pressed for time with preparing for my next vacation so closely on the heels of my last one, that it's going to have to be a quickie. And while I'm complaining about things that someone should just slap me for, I need to whine for a minute about the fact that it's raining out and I just got a spray tan this morning and I have to do laundry which means going in and out to the laundry room at the back of our building in the rain and possibly doing damage to my painted-on tan. I know there are bigger problems in the world, but today that's mine. (P.S. You should see how tan I look...very scary. Very Lindsay Lohan.)

I started writing all about my fantastic trip to Austin and the wonderful visit with my very dear friend, Jarvino (Spewname), but all of a sudden there's more packing to do than there is time so I will have to postpone the Texas recap. Plus, I just got an e-mail from Dan saying that he wants to be out of here "NO LATER than 10am" tomorrow and he even got all yelly and capital-y like that, so I have to get moving. (But I must say this: Austin was awesome and my Jarvino gave me a week of love and friendship that I so needed and will never forget.)

I also wanted to be sure I got on here to say hey y'all. Miss ya like crazy and this is all shaping up to be one hell of a "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" essay for when I get back.

The itinerary for this next week is a scattered one. It starts with us taking off (by car) for Pittsburgh tomorrow to meet up with some of Dan's family and take in a baseball game (Sox at Pittsburgh---luxury box---holla!) on Sunday. From there we will heading for five days of bliss at a hotel and spa in The Poconos. Dan and I have both been struggling with admitting we're going to a spa in the Poconos because just saying it makes us feel like Dan has a drinking problem and a penchant for nannies and I occasionally ask Carlos, our gardener who's secretly in love with our daughter Muffie, his opinion of vaginal reconstructive surgery while striking a provocative position involving a Pottery Barn kitchen stool. That said, I am very excited for this trip and very grateful to Dan who planned the whole thing because he felt like this was the kind of vacation the year called for. I currently have two massages, a facial, and a "Lotus Cleansing" ---which Dan keeps referring to using his most airy, Zen, smelly Earth Child voice---on the books for our stay. I know how bratty that sounds and I know how fortunate I am (so I'll shut up about the rain and my spray tan). The resort restaurant is called Tree, for fuck's sake. Tree. Not The Tree. Not even Food Tree (which would be a terrible name). Just Tree. I might never wear underwear again after this, that's all I'm saying. Then on Friday we are headed into NYC to see The Book of Mormon and The Normal Heart both of which I am just so fucking psyched for that the words "so fucking psyched" are really the only ones that fit. Actually, the Poconos trip was born from the fact that we knew we'd be in Pittsburgh on Sunday and New York on Friday, so we were looking for a place that made sense geographically to head to in between. Pretty sure seeing The Book of Mormon, a musical which takes on organized religion, and The Normal Heart, a play which takes on the AIDS crisis in NYC in the 80's, restores my street cred after the whole spa in the Poconos thing. ('Cause, you know, street cred and Broadway go hand in hand.)

Doesn't that sound like a fan-fucking-tastic vacation? I mean, how lucky am I? Believe me, I get a little verclempt even now thinking of how grateful I am to have had the week I just did with Jarvino and now this week coming up with my Danny. And I could cry especially because I know how excited my mom would be for me. I'm trying to really appreciate the richness of each moment and every adventure for her. Towards the end she talked so much to me about all the things she would do if her body would let her so I have a real sense of taking things in on her behalf, particularly travel and exploration. But I'll have to work to stay present...which means getting some stuff done before I go so that I'm not thinking of it during the trip...which means I must be running along now.

If Dan and I have sack enough to steal someone's garden gnome on our road trip, I'll be sure to take and post pictures. Happy summer Spewheads! (Spewers? Spewites? Spewdents? Spewpils? Spewps?) Hope you're getting your lotus cleansed too!

Love,
Lindsay

Creepy, right? (It fades with the first shower.)