Tuesday, July 13, 2010

If I'm not in bed by 7:30, no TV for a week


When I was a kid, I though this was what God looked like...addicted since the womb. (How wonderfully 70's is this picture? This exact jar sits on my desk at home.)

It's 7 o'clock now and I find myself thinking, "Man, it's getting late..."

I expect to be in bed shortly with a cup of tea and my book. I promised myself this tonight and I don't want to bail on me again.

I have the evening off as my dad is on night-duty at the hospital with my mom. I was beat and apparently visibly so because my mom told me I should head out at about 5pm.

Last night I stayed at the hospital until 11:30, GiG and I watching Sally Field's Oscar-winning performance in "Places In The Heart" through Netflix on my laptop. Kim, the evening nurse came in and offered us dessert for our slumber party, later delivering a Hoodsie-type cup of vanilla ice cream and another of orange sherbet. (Really, no second "R" there?) We scooped half out of each and mixed 'em up for the orange Creamsicle effect, a favorite taste of my mom's. It was nice watching movies together and it made me laugh when she had me call her upon leaving the hospital both when I got into my car in the parking lot ("after you lock the doors") and again when I was inside my parents' house. I've walked through many dark parking lots without her knowledge in my day I almost argued, but just went with it instead. I'm glad to have her here to worry. I'm glad to let her be my mom.

Every spring I walk the little river that runs through my town in New Hampshire and watch as the little families of ducklings start to appear trailing behind their mom on the river's edge. I see throughout the season as they turn from little yellow fluffballs, to an adolescent-looking version, and onward. Lately when I've seen them, still traveling in their bunch as they do---for they are still quite young---, I find myself struggling to discern which one the mother is as they've all gotten so big. For a while I could just tell, her brood being slightly smaller than she, but now I can't at all. Sometimes I think I can just by observing a certain stillness in one versus the others, but I'm never completely sure. No, there's not much visible difference there and I can't help but note it. She's not even leading anymore it seems, though who knows what subtle, undetectable direction she is still providing.

We're hoping my mom will be out of the hospital tomorrow. We expected her to come home today but there are still some x-rays that need doing and so on. Now that she has her appetite, and more important her taste buds, back she is looking forward to having a cup of coffee on her back deck like it's a trip to Italy. My God, if ever I needed a reminder of the smallest of life's joys... Talk about taking things for granted. I have cursed my appetite too many times to count, but never have I felt gratitude for my taste buds.

So I'll pay special attention tonight to my little cup of tea.

In fact, off I go. Can't keep my 7:30 appointment waiting...

7 comments:

Talk2mrsh said...

You totally got me with the stuff about the ducks. Think about you so often, even before all "this". Love you, Lo. Will write more later.

Jarvino said...

I think we're soul mates.

Lola Mellowsky said...

Love you too, VH. Thanks for feeling me.

Jarvino, you are most definitely my soul mate. You know it's going to be you and me in the end...We can play with our fellas now, but you know we're going to be fighting about "drain rage" in our 90s when we're back at Westgate.

becky.breslin said...

you gotta know that mom was not feeling well when she couldn't choke back a cup of coffee...i can't even imagine! awful...

Lola Mellowsky said...

Benny---Fuh real, on the coffee front. That's sickness...

katjak said...

LOVE the duck part too, made me totally tear up. But the lacking of the "R" in sherbet made me laugh. I love that you guys had your fun movie night and that mom had her appetite back enough to enjoy the jerry-rigged creamsicle.

Lola Mellowsky said...

Katjak---Glad you're still here! You would love my river walks. Come to NH this fall and walk the path with me! You would love the ducks.