Will somebody come to my apartment and do my laundry? I’m down to only thongs for undies and this is not my comfort zone. I have two waist-high mountains of dirty clothes and not an ounce of motivation.
Also, will someone cook the pork loin that’s sitting in my fridge looking like horse genitalia and skeeving me out? If I don’t cook it today it’s gonna have to be tossed and generally speaking if I have to handle the meat, then I am unable to eat it later on. (That’s what she said.)
Also, could someone come over and balance our household budget so I know what my spending cap is for psychic readings this month?
And could someone come wash my kitchen floor? I ate sardines again today (no, seriously, they’re not bad) and some of the olive oil/lemon sludge that they’re packed in was flung onto various spots of the floor and I’m doubtful the half sheet of paper towel that I dedicated to cleaning it up really did the job.
Could you take care of the bathroom too? The other day I broke a glass bottle filled with beach sand and shells that sits atop the counter and though I took a hand vacuum to it, I’m pretty sure there are still shards of glass scattered on the floor. (I didn’t tell Dan this because I didn’t think he was at risk...I mean who walks around barefoot in a bathroom of all places?)
And could you go to the gym for me? It’s been a few days and I can see a rectangle Pop Tart protruding from my saddlebags.
I did manage my own showering today though...wait, no I didn’t. I actually thought I did and then realized it was an untruth. After the gym should be fine for that...please moisturize.
Also, could you vacuum, dust, clean off the kitchen table, write a best-seller, return my library books (yeah, I go to the library...wanna make something of it?), call my friends back, handle the e-mails, bring the trash bag of clothes sitting in the center of my bedroom to Goodwill, put the spoffice that I tore apart Sunday back together and pick up a birthday present for a 30th birthday party I will be attending this weekend?
Or maybe you could just do the laundry?
8 comments:
I love the Pop Tart image. Like a lot.
bring your laundry to my house to BreslinBowl...why wouldn't you? You can hunker down in front of my fire while you fold...beats the shit out a laundramat or your apartment basement (I can't remember if your current place has laundry in the basement)
Some weeks are like this...focus on your writing...who cares about showering :) i'll lend you some dry shampoo!!!
Love it sista! Comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling this way!!! (I did manage to get my garbage bage of clothes donated and half of my accounting done) Good idea to ask for help ;)
Bec, you make doing laundry sound so nice!
PS: I have to admit I'm shocked that you like sardines! I want to like them but not there yet...
-Mart
Word captcha - wormuli. At least you didn't ask someone to come take care of the wormuli [will leave verb and direct object out of the remainder of the sentence]. Boyoboy, do I hear you on this one. The sun is out today and it was actually warm enough to stoop sit for a brief while, eyes closed and toward the sun. What an energy boost that is for me! Bob is at the gym and I am clearly online but before I sat my ass back down, I managed to wipe off the counter top in the kitchen and remind myself that I was going to clean the top of the fridge today. Book club is here on Thursday night and I am SO not ready - a vague notion of fancying up a box brownie mix (with Kahlua and a Kahlua infused frosting that turns the brownies into candy, so it's pretty legit), remembering I need to get some light beer, and wondering if a cheese plate and chips/salsa will be enough (and I know it will). I read the book last summer, was only so-so about it, and am less than inspired about leading the discussion. Keeping my eye on the prize of a concert with the Landu Mohathaway's in Boston Friday night. Can you throw the pork loin in the freezer and deal with it later? Take Becky up on her laundry invite. Hell, if you're down to thongs, might as well go commando - far more comfortable than butt floss.
Sounds like we have a similar chore list! I didn't spill sardine juice (GROSS!) but there is baby spit up EVERYWHERE and I did break the coffee carafe (sp?) on the kitchen floor the other day and couldn't be bothered to really check to make sure I got it all up....I mean, it's not like the baby can crawl yet...I've got a few more months until I really have to deal with that mess. I did manage to buy a card for Meaghan's 30th birthday but I had to fill it out that night while standing in the middle of the bar...oh well, it got done didn't it? One thing at a time chica....it'll get done when it gets done!
PS - I am the exact same way about meat...I always have Erol cut the fat off the chicken b/c I'm totally doomed if i have to do that.
The best way to handle laundry is to make a pile of your clean clothes, and next to it pile the dirty stuff. Then draw from the middle. It lasts much longer that way.
Happy Tax Season!
semardthe best laundry analogy is what bill murray said in ghostbusters 2 there are many levels of smell and clean. if it smells really bad and stained off to the washer it goes if you can still smell the laundry detergent from last wash and not badly stained a litle degreaser or bleach pen will work or even a soap bar or sponge. johnson baby powder works great on undies and socks
Lookit, it's my birthday month so I am not doing anything on that list until March 1st.
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
:)
BFYFM
xo
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