I should be embarrassed, shouldn't I be? But I'm not. I look at this and feel a really ridiculous amount of pride. We don't even have pets or kids! What would your sludge pot look like? Perhaps I could make a business of doing sludge pot readings.
My Mama's Rainbow is back and all cleaned up and purty and yesterday it had its first romp around the apartment. So...much...hair. Also, spiders. Our apartment is where daddy longlegs come to winter. This is extremely unsettling for those of us in this apartment who are certain that spiders mess with sleeping humans for sport.
I am cracked up by the amount of Rainbow loyalists that I've heard from since posting this. I feel I've tapped into some type of underground cleaning society. Perhaps we should all meet up and cross hoses.
So, apparently vacuum sales are born, in large part, from leads generated by users. For instance, when I told Brian that my sister mentioned hating her Kirby, he suggested I talk her into having him to her house for a 45-minute free demonstration on the latest model (which is apparently Rosie-from-The-Jetsons-good). I told him I'd see what I could do. This being my "public forum," I am mentioning it here because somewhere in my heart I feel this is an old-school good deed during hard economic times.
If anyone wants a Rainbow demonstration (I can't believe I'm writing this), let me know and I'll contact Brian to give him your info. Full disclosure: If I get him two demonstrations---without anyone purchasing a thing---I get a free Rainmate which is an air purifier that sounds like the porn version of Rain Man. I don't really need an air purifier but the idea of winning something is always delightful.
Did I mention that Dan has suffered from asthma since he was a young child.
I know Brian will travel anywhere in New Hampshire, which I assume means he'll likely cross a New England state border or two. Did I also mention that, "The Rainbow is certified asthma & allergy friendly™ by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America*."
So it's sexy too!
IF YOU CALL NOW, I'LL EVEN THROW IN THIS LIGHTLY USED PLUNGER!
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
I'm really not trying to break into the vacuum business here but I told Brian I would do my part and now I've done it.
Today Dan and I are going on a Target/Christmas Tree Shop field trip. Welcome mats, throw pillows, storage totes, oh my! I woke up excited about it which I find a bit depressing. Maybe we'll even have lunch at the Target food counter!
Vacuum referrals and weekend trips for household wares---it's all feeling very domestic around here. We'll have to have sex in a movie theater tonight to prove to ourselves that we're still a childless couple in our prime.
Or, we could take turns throwing random crap on the rug and vacuuming it up to see what it looks like in the Rainbow's water tank.
Tough call.
11 comments:
At first glance, I thought it was one of your nasty smoothie drinks. Then I said "No way, she's making Dan clean the bathroom drain again..." That shit came out of your rug? Now I'm going to need to call Brian.
BFYFM
LOl....Janet! I thought the same damn thing! I thought it was a juice drink...and then the drain...i shit you not.
It cracked my ass up to know it was Part II to the Rainbow entry! I sense a new theme.... Brian may get a call from me.... the Kirby does suck big time, but who wants to spend another $1000 or $2K on a vacuum when they have already been burned once....
Hit the food court at the local Market Basket...it seems to be the hot place to go up here xoxo
I sense we have another drain entry coming soon as well. I friggin' shed. Also, Benny, my boy Bri, said you can trade in your Kirby to defray the cost of a Rainbow...just a thought. When the hell did I become a vacuum salesman?
Instead of a new vacuum, I think you may new carpets.....just sayin'. :) I ride my Dyson through the house like it is a broom (and cackle like Paula Deen).
I feel like I need to explain that I also dusted every square inch of the apartment (tv, mantles, book cases) and cleaned up the land of spiders and webs in our breezeway...hence, all the sludge. We only have one rug and the rest is hardwood floors so it's us versus the dust bunnies and we rarely win... Still, I choose not to be ashamed...
Laura & gang, you people are an absolute riot. You brighten my day with a "Rainbow" of colors. I only wish i knew you!!
You know, my dear, departed Grandpa Morris was a door to door vacuum salesman himself. One of Electrolux's top employees (I assume, based on the amount of watches, plates, lamps, ashtrays and trips to Disney he won over the course of his career) he took real pride in his work. Were it not for the Electrolux devotees of Southern New England, who knows how he would have supported his family?
The moral of this story? I can really respect these Rainbow posts- from Gig's brand loyalty, to Brian's customer service, to Lola and Dan's newfound respect of the machine. So touched by this story am I, that I had to chime in to say that though a new Rainbow is not in my budget, I will remember it if ever there comes a day when I find myself in the market for $2000 vacuum. Lord knows, a good machine doesn't grow on trees!
xoxo Kate
PS You better get that Rainmate after all of this. Just sayin'.
Sassy--- I've seen the pics of your house and I know it's gaw-geous. I don't buy that you have dirty floors but I appreciate you trying to make me feel better about my filth. And the image of you riding your Dyson and cackling cracked me up.
Janie---Thanks! I wish I knew you too!
Kate---What a lovely surprise to find you here in the comments section. You presence is always so enjoyable. Grandpa Morris sounds like a fine peach of a man. Lamps and trips to Disney? I love that. Brian said he's been working on Rainbows since he was 12 years old. Imagine? I want to shoot a documentary on this whole little world... I was just shocked that anyone still makes house calls for any reason. And if I get that damn Rainmate, you can be sure there will be pictures.
Really. My floors are dirty. Matt impatiently asked me to take pictures of the 'stools' in the basement so he could put them on Craig's List. I took pictures of the two piles of cat shit and sent them to him. Hey!!! He didn't specify! They are, after all- STOOLS!
Sassy---Okay now that just cracked me up! So, so wrong. When I was staying at Camp Breslin I was ready to handoff all animal feces-related tasks to Alex. No suh!
Hmmm do I smell a Rainbow party at the Breslin Inn??? Ohhh now that could be a fun demonstration!!!!
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