Last week on the Mellowsky Spew...

When I last posted, Dan and I were vacationing for a few days with my siblings on the Cape. Our time there was fabu. We lazed on the beach,



did some grilling at night,



and engaged in other fun recreational activities. (My niece made and hung this sign before we got there and for me it represents everything I love about a family vacation.)



I expected to write more



but there was so much to see.



And see.



And see.



And hear about.



Dan and I took our time on our way home, stopping to have lunch on the porch of a quaint little inn. (I threw this pic in 'cuz I thought it was so Dansome.)



Even though we were in Sandwich, MA we had some chowda.



We were so very sorry to have to go (I've settled on Chatham for my beachfront home) but it was one of those vacations we'll be talking about for years. Thanks to The Breslins (and Molly Moo) for sharing your vacation with us.



We were only home a few days before the phone rang. (I was determined to work the ringing phone image into this post.) My mom was again being admitted to the hospital (and has now been there since Wednesday). She went in with a high fever, elevated pulse and general weakness.



In short, the treatment is as bad as the illness. For the past six weeks (since her last hospital admittance) my mom has been undergoing a radiation/chemo combination for the purpose of shrinking the tumor in her lung that was disrupting her breathing. We don't yet know the extent of its effective (even though she's just ended the treatment, the radiation is still "sizzling"---a term my family uses to explain it---the tumor) but we do know the radiation kicked the shit out of her. In addition to it burning right through her body such that she has visible burn marks on her back, it also caused inflammation of her lung tissue, a condition called pneumonitis. This, in addition to a slight pneumonia, caused the fever, chest pain, difficulty breathing, and just a general feeling of terribleness. The chemo maintained its role as appetite suppressor and nausea inducer so her inability to eat or keep down that which she was able to stomach, intensified the fatigue and weakness to such a point that it was difficult for her to even walk.

I repeat:





They've had my mom on IV antibiotics, steroids and fluids as well as regular breathing treatments and she seems to be doing better. The steroids even have her eating again which is a huge relief to all of us.



Though, we've been trying to supplement the hospital fare.



Lots of family and friends have been in to visit.



And we've made our fun where we could.



My dad and I have been trying to do our best to make sure my mom is never in the hospital alone for very long. We leave each other notes with our comings and goings. He left me this note this morning. (Lois = yet another nickname)



He also left me this note the other day which is simply a moment to be recorded.

It's been a worrisome week, of course. My dad said he thinks this may be what it will be like from now on; hospitalizations marked by periods of relative health. It's not a life I'd want for anyone and I hate watching my mom endure it. While we know she has at least a month "break" from all "treatment" per her oncologist, the fact is that she's pondering whether she will continue treatment at all. (We're all pondering this but will ultimately back whatever decision she makes.) Life is absurd right now. Sometimes unrecognizable. Sometimes incredibly rich. Sometimes unbearably frightening. Sometimes just unbearable.

So that's where I've been. Bet you're feeling bad about calling me a negligent blogger, aren't you? No, it's fine...I understand your expectation that I consistently update...it's not like my mom has cancer or anything. (By the way, "But My Mom Has Cancer" is a fun new game that I play with Dan whenever he says no to me. Sick, I know, but oodles of fun.)

We're hoping GiG will be out tomorrow or Wednesday once she's through with this round of antibiotics and her pulse goes down. I'm still figuring out whether or not I'm going to be spending any length of time back home in NH in the coming days. Sometimes it's hard to know where to be. Right now, it feels like the hospital is the place.

Off I go.

P.S. Amidst this last week of crap, some good news has also come our way.

My sister Cherie and brother-in-law Pete found out they are having a baby girl.



I'm sure she will bring them much happiness when she comes.



And in all the days ahead.