With a high school reunion only five days away (yeah, we’ll get to that) and having recently celebrated my birthday (plus that whole “geriatric pregnancy” thing), I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on how I have spent the last 28 years. Not one to wallow in the past (lie), I’ve decided to instead focus on the future. The following is a list of 28 things I would like to accomplish in my next 28 years of life.
1) Dabble in polygamy.
2) Ride a zebra.
3) Invent a cure for old people smell.
4) Win Survivor and use the money to start a clothing line for overweight pets.
5) Vote.
6) Catch and spread platypus flu.
7) Pick a favorite sister.
8) Taxidermy something.
9) Immaculate Conception.
10) Play Meredith Baxter-Birney in the Meredith Baxter-Birney Story on Lifetime.
11) Watch someone who’s dancing like nobody’s watching.
12) Drink like nobody’s watching.
13) Decimate a species.
14) Fake my death.
15) Rise again.
16) Develop camouflage gym wear featuring elliptical gray.
17) Change clothes in front of my husband.
18) Perfect my dolphin taco recipe.
19) Get a therapy referral from David Duchovny.
20) Carve my initials into an endangered tree.
21) Invent a swear.
22) Mount Woody’s head on my wall.
23) Take kazoo lessons.
24) Work on my Patronus.
25) Grow out my eyebrows for world peace.
26) Abolish the low-rise movement.
27) Sleep my way down the corporate ladder.
28) Retire at 29.
1) Dabble in polygamy.
2) Ride a zebra.
3) Invent a cure for old people smell.
4) Win Survivor and use the money to start a clothing line for overweight pets.
5) Vote.
6) Catch and spread platypus flu.
7) Pick a favorite sister.
8) Taxidermy something.
9) Immaculate Conception.
10) Play Meredith Baxter-Birney in the Meredith Baxter-Birney Story on Lifetime.
11) Watch someone who’s dancing like nobody’s watching.
12) Drink like nobody’s watching.
13) Decimate a species.
14) Fake my death.
15) Rise again.
16) Develop camouflage gym wear featuring elliptical gray.
17) Change clothes in front of my husband.
18) Perfect my dolphin taco recipe.
19) Get a therapy referral from David Duchovny.
20) Carve my initials into an endangered tree.
21) Invent a swear.
22) Mount Woody’s head on my wall.
23) Take kazoo lessons.
24) Work on my Patronus.
25) Grow out my eyebrows for world peace.
26) Abolish the low-rise movement.
27) Sleep my way down the corporate ladder.
28) Retire at 29.
2 comments:
I love the list. I'm also working on #17, so I wish you luck.
Maybe once we stop sleeping in separate beds a la Mary Tyler Moore this will get easier...
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