Tuesday, May 4, 2010

To do: Not waste time blogging about stupid things.


First of all, I want those shoes. Second, would this be my avatar?

The good weather is finally here: I made a airbrush spray tan appointment in celebration.

Also, I'm wearing a dress.

I’ve spent most of my life avoiding wearing dresses as I am simply not the kind of woman who wears them with any sort of ease. Wearing a dress means that there is one less boundary between my ass and the rest of the world. As a person who hasn't worn a bathing suit sans shorts since seventh grade, this concerns me. The probability that an accident involving the exposure of pink skin will occur is increased exponentially with the addition of high heels, the real offender in the dress/heel goon squad. Given these risks, in addition to the fact that dress-wearing is generally accompanied by a social situation I was unable to get out of, I had taken a strong position against clothing that is not sewn together at the bottom. (This is why I staple my nightgowns...)

However, a few years ago my mom took a risk and bought me a summer dress---a little black lightweight cotton number, sort of surfer girlish with spaghetti straps---and it changed my life. My disdain for dresses has been somewhat tempered by the realization that they are actually friend to the fashionably lazy.

After my shower today, it took me 45 seconds to dry off and clothe myself due to the advantages of the summer dress. A perk of the one I am wearing now is that I don’t even have to wear a bra, a particular freedom I most enjoy. (I do wear underoos; even though I would like her to play me in the Lifetime Lola Mellowsky biopic---if Meredith Baxter Birney is unavailable, of course---, Lindsay Lohan I am not.) Plus, in a nice loose dress my ass is pretty much lost under billowing fabric. You can't make out its size or shape much less see the Star Wars figures on my undies. While the mortifying accident risk level is still high it is at least reduced by the fact that appropriate footwear involves flip flops, a shoe on which I am generally stable. (I sincerely believe that tomorrow I will be reporting a terrible fall as a direct result of writing that sentence.)

Comfort is of particular importance today because I am planning on accomplishing every single thing I've ever needed to do. All of it. Letters will be written, laundry will be put away, budgets will be balanced. I may even finally get a degree. Anything short of 75 crossed off to-do items will be unacceptable. (Writing about the perks of wearing a dress was not on the list.)

I am just feeling perpetually behind lately. While I know this is the story of my (and everyone else's) life, I still dream of waking up one day and thinking, "Heck, clean slate today. I might as well collect some sticks for that house I've always wanted to make by hand."

Seeing that it's 4:30 and I've accomplished about three things so far, I'm doubtful that tomorrow will be that day.

But before I head off and Tasmanian Devil my way around this apartment, I wanted to give an update on my mom because I know many of you are checking in here for that reason (and not to hear me ramble on about my assoutaphobia).

Gig is doing remarkably well. No vomiting or hair loss (though I think the hair loss wouldn’t happen quite yet). Though there is a metallic taste to whatever she eats and her appetite is inconsistent, she is able to stick to a schedule of eating something every few hours in order to stave of the nausea which comes in big scary waves often when her stomach is empty. She also has an anti-nausea med that works but at the cost of dizziness, fatigue and a general feeling of being drugged. All of this is much better than what our fears were which included...what exactly? My mom and I both concluded that we weren't quite sure what our fears were. It wasn't just kidney failure though that certainly had a place at the table.

I came back to NH last night as a result of her stable health. My mom and dad separately voiced their concerns to me that as she did so well health-wise with the last chemo cocktail and it proved to not be working at all, that perhaps the same thing is happening now; that her body resists chemo, both its bad and good effects.

I choose to believe it's the leafy greens and grass-fed beef that's protecting her from toxicity while the tumors shrink away. As I see it, that IV bag of chemo is half-full.

Okay, lots to do. Off I run...er, walk carefully.

2 comments:

becky.breslin said...

Losey...See, isn't the dress fantabulous...freeing in so many ways...you know I am a huge fan...of the flip flop as well..if only I could throw away all my suits and heals in favor of the summer sun dress...it would be divine!

On another note...I'm choosing to stay positive about the chemo cocktail (as are you) and am thinking mom is doing remarkably well not because she is immune to chemo, but because she is the most deserving person on this plant of a big fat BREAK!!! for the love of god, make this shit stop...she deserves peace and happiness and I will even start breaking out in prayer if that is what it takes (and I think we both know I'm our father's daughter and prayer isn't something I'm doing on a steady basis...)...nonetheless, I'm eternally grateful to you for your posts...mom keeps me updated, but it's different hearing from your eyes/MAC.
Love you!

Lola Mellowsky said...

Benny---I thought I responded to this! Sorry to have given you the shaft.

And you, indeed, knew the secret of the dress all along! Thanks for moving me further along that path!

I'm glad the blog is keeping you posted on everything. It really is an experience to see all this stuff firsthand and I'm glad you appreciate the report. I always wonder what it's like through you and the rest of the sisters' eyes. I promise to stay on it...and to respond more quickly!