Birthday Spew

A personal fave.

You guys...the blog is a year old today.

I swear to god.

I feel like I should divulge some dark secret in celebration: I steal.

No, that’s not true.

I pee standing up.

While I wish that one was true, regretfully, it is not.

I just feel like I want to mark this occasion with some sort of give-back because I am so grateful to all who power up your computers every day, type in that ridiculously long web address and stop by the Spew. Seriously grateful, in fact. Some of you have even been here since the very first post. Others jumped on after my Oprah interview. Whichever you are, you need to know that I’m not blowing smoke when I tell you how appreciative I am that you take time out of your busy (Facebook) schedule to come here.

Normally, when I hear musicians or actors “thank the fans,” I want to wretch. As if, now that they’re hobnobbing with the stars of People magazine’s cooter shots, they give even one shit about the chick with the Loony Tunes sweatshirt who bunked with the homeless in order to score front row tickets and scream, “Justin Timberlake, I love you! (Check out my blog!)” I often think “thank the fans” is an item from a to-do list their publicist gave them, falling somewhere between bed Seacrest and advocate for an endangered species.

But while I can hardly compare myself to Timberlake (he doesn’t have my sex appeal) or even possibly claim a fan base (that doesn’t consist of the teenage boys from the skate park next to my house whom I flash every Friday) I do have to say that when someone tells me they enjoy my blog, I feel truly thankful that s/he, in a world of books and newspapers and Kindles, even reads it. (If, however, they don’t say they enjoy it, I poison their cat.) I feel a buzz of excitement every time someone says to me, “I follow your blog (and you’re kind of a pervert.”).

So, screw it, I’m pumping my chest, pointing my hand to the sky, giving shout-outs to Jeebus and thanking the fans.

Thanks people...especially those who have their little mini pictures up there in the corner. And the ones who leave comments. (You’re my favorites.) And the ones who do neither of those things but check in when they want to look like they are doing something important at work. And the ones who have a little Spew with their morning coffee. And the ones who visit between porn sites (a li’l Spew with their spew). And the folks who check in from my dad’s hospital (Holla atcha Charlton Memorial!) And the ones who got here through my sister Bec’s Facebook advertising. And all the rest of you too. But most of all, I’d like to thank those who happened upon here because they did a google search of Leslie Lillian, featured singer on a 1980‘s Jane Fonda workout video, who was referenced on here one time by my sister Katie in the comments section. According to Google Analytics, I get hits from that search term all time. (I’ll save the entire list of word combinations that deliver people to this site for another entry, but favorite among them are: “fat irish face” and “top of my ass hurts when I wear thongs.”

Joking aside (But why? it’s been so long since we’ve joked), I really am appreciative of you being here. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll drop you faster than my pants on burrito night once I get really big, but for now...you complete me.

It’s been quite a year. Michael Jackson’s death, London, Bookish. Now, of course, cancer. Do you feel like it’s a case of bait and switch? You used to come here for a little “That’s what she said” and now all you get are extended absences and tales of woe. I’ve been thinking of adding one of those lines at the top, below the blog title, which explains what this place is about. In trying to find the words to capture the theme here, I realized that cancer now has a place in this blog’s identity; my identity, I guess. This is certainly a departure from wherever I was a year ago. Wherever I was three months ago, actually.

I don’t think I’ll ever be back there. Not in that same place, anyway. Things have shifted. There will be new places, I’m sure, but not the one I dwelt in where I could go on living my life, happily taking my mom and all of life for granted. What I’m saying is that I think cancer will probably continue to remain a main theme around these parts. It has metastasized to my blog.

Though, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there will be plenty of thong jokes to go around when we need a little levity.

So, into a second year we go. I’m hoping to perk up the look of things, maybe learn how to do something visually creative. (This could involve a web address change---stay tuned.) Mostly though, I think the change will be in content. Because I’m changing. It is very strange to know you are going into one of the most important years of your life but have no idea what to expect.

This blog will be whatever that’s about.

I hope you stick around (and leave tons of comments).

I will do you right by continuing to show up too. This is all getting too big to keep inside anyway.

And that, my friends, is what she said.