When I downloaded this picture, it was named on the site as "lady with nurses." That stings.Yo. I'm working on something a bit longer (and not a wicked downer) for you guys (hint: it involves "sensual hip circles") but for now I thought I'd throw you a friggin' bone. I know I have posted this picture before but I failed to report that this is now featured on the Oncology Department's homepage off the St. Anne's Hospital website. Remember the little photo shoot we had? Well, now we're cancer stars .
I have to admit that when I first saw it, it pissed me off. I felt like we were the faces of cancer treatment propaganda. I have strong feelings regarding the businesses of oncology and chemotherapy as a result of all of this...even stronger than I had going into it. All my mom ever got was sicker at that hospital and while I recognize that this would have likely been the case regardless of any intervention (though I'm not convinced the chemo didn't speed things up), I’m hardly a proponent. However, almost every single nurse we encountered at that hospital---all the women in this photo as well as so many not pictured---were wonderful people who provided good humor and comfort and made what could have been a purely awful experience, enjoyable in a way. (This also speaks to who my mom was, of course.) Those nurses (and certainly some of the doctors) made my mom feel safe and except towards the end, her hospital stays were in many ways lovely because of them. The moment captured here was a good one (she was being discharged after a week in) so, instead of feeling angry, I’m just trying to focus on the good memory of that day and the people. It’s always about the people, isn’t it?
It does have me looking at brochures and hospital testimonials differently now though, I have to say. It makes me wonder how many of the people in all of the ads promising the best care and latest innovation are, well dead.
I’ll leave you with that mood-lifter for the day, how ‘bout?
Coming soon: Something that won’t make you want to drink yourself to sleep.
5 comments:
Laura,
I remember you telling me about the akward hand holding in this picture! Had a little smile on my face just at the memory of talking about it.
Being in the bid-ness, when I have a patient such as Gigi,I haven't ever been the same. Forever changed because of what I had witnessed and the fact that I couldn't help.
Those ladies in the picture are a certain breed. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to handle that emotionally day in and day out.
I think that you are great at giving them the shot out. I am without a doubt certain that they are forever changed because of Gigi(who the heck hasn't been).
Much love to you always jen
I think this must have been one of the harder entries for you to write. The combination of bitterness and gratitude is tough to reconcile, especially when the hospital's web page talks of patients and their loved ones making the 'cancer journey with sensitivity and understanding.' Cancer journey. . . well, I guess they have to call it something.
The whole thing reminds me of a letter Abraham Lincoln wrote to a mother who lost five sons in the Civil War, in which he wrote: "I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming."
I have to agree with Jen that the ladies in the picture are truly of a certain breed, and GiG's smile in that same picture attests to that.
I'm not sure that it hastened her departure. Who the hell knows, really. She braved it all with humor and kindness, and confidence and love. If chemo killed her, then it was just an accessory after the fact. She really had been very sick for a long while and never let anyone know. She remained strong as long as she could and did what she could do to make others feel better. I fell in love with her over and over and over.
Can I say what I think that you would like to say? Fuck cancer, fuck chemo, fuck radiation and fuck hospitals (no offense Uncle Bar). I didn't even catch this blog until today. I do agree with Jen. Those ladies are a rare breed. But we always knew that about nurses. They are always there to make their patients feel better just like our Gig always did even when you weren't a patient!!!!
xoxo
Ame
Jen---I'm sure you are like that for your patients too. They are lucky to have you!
Rob---You would have loved seeing GiG with those ladies...she knew every single person's story and talked to them all about their lives (and, of course, talk of meds and treatment came after that).
Not anonymous--- I hear what you're saying about accessory after the fact. I just can't help but feel like it robbed her of some healthy time (though I know she trusted medicine and would probably not have done it any other way...).
Amy--- Indeed. Nail on head. Fuck it all. It's such a sucky little world to have insight into. You understand that well...
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