Monday, April 11, 2011

Don't judge

Where do you keep your snare drum?

So you don't think I'm totally full of shit, I've decided to provide photographic proof of the Great Spoffice Cleanout of 2011. Yes, it started out as just a closet project. But the closet is in the spoffice (spare bedroom + office for the newbies) so the whole place had to blow up in order for me to make real progress. In fact, the project is already creeping out of the spoffice and into the rest of the apartment which means the whole ordeal is beginning to get dangerous. See, I've been here before. I've emptied this closet before. It has vomited its contents into the other rooms of our tiny palace many times before now, only to be eaten back up and held once more in the sour bowels of those white closet doors. (I think I would eat and really enjoy some sort of deliciously tart candy called Sour Bowels.) But not this time, oh no. This time, I'm serious. This shit is getting gone. Since it seems my soul can't be Feng Shui-ed into a flowing model of calm or efficiency, my space must. I don't know that I've ever participated in actual spring cleaning but I think that's what's going down over here. I'm ripping the cling wrap off the windows and getting some air up in here. My methodology has involved 3-4 hours of writing followed by 1-2 hours of cleaning. Rinse and repeat. I'm not sure yet if I'm taking a break from the writing with the organizing or if I'm taking a break from the organizing with the writing but either way, exercise breaks are not being observed and Cadbury Mini Egg breaks are. I can't walk away from this fight anymore. I don't care that Dan just got us hooked on Season Four of Mad Men or that Idol has really taken an exciting turn with last week's booting of Pia or that it's getting nice out, I'm getting 'er done.

Let's be honest, I'm into it. Between the writing and the excavating, there's a lot spilling out of dark corners right now. I'm not saying it's all going to be put back perfectly, but at least I'll know what's in there.

The sour bowels

The bowels of the sour bowels.

Look closely---not only does one box contain "Lots of shizzle w/ wires" but another contains solely "Bobbleheads." Bet you don't have a box of bobbleheads in any of your closets. (Also, find and circle the clarinet from seventh grade.)

There's a door back there. Blocking our means of egress, totes filled with some of my mom's things that I couldn't let go of. This is what kicked off the Great Spoffice Cleanout, needing to find a spot for my mama's stuff.

Did I mention that I also brought home the desk from my childhood bedroom?

The bed provides interim housing.

Big plans for these shelves...not for Dan's bobbleheads.

That's a Leg Magic you see there. Jealous?

My desk is relatively clean...which proves I've been using it...which proves I've been writing...and not looking up Brene Brown on Facebook.

I've been in this space for nearly 10 hours. It's time to retreat and fortify. Where you at mini eggs?


Sassy said...

Your BFYFM is very good at closet org! :) Good luck. I always find that once I get started purging it become addictive!

Jen V said...

Spring cleaning sucks! It takes a lot of time and patience that I have neither at this point in time. Rock on sister! Get your stuff done and enjoy those mini eggs while your at it. Of course the number one thing I noticed was your big Scrabble board. I think Kath misses your foursome!
Good luck!

becky.breslin said... saw my pantry, my garbage can labeled for the trash side and the recycling side, and my office shelving...if you need any purging guidance or help...holla my way...I'm just a few country miles away!
Good work...a clarinet, though, seriously? My guidance would be...chuck that shit stat! Good work, however! xoxo

Anonymous said...

It makes me itchy just looking at those photos! Lemme at it! (Sassy, you so know me!) Never mind the clarinet! What in the hell are the bobbleheads for?! He must be stopped.

I will be having nightmares tonight, fo sho. This just proves to me even more how much you need me in your life.


becky.breslin said...

hahahahahaha...the bobbleheads...I might be time for them to go :) ...reminds me of my tailor in Boston who has a case FILLED with action to encased...makes me laugh every time I see that case....ummm....the bobblehead collection is kinda like that least they are in boxes :)

Janet: You could do wonders for those closets!
PS: I love that Sassy knows you do closets...classic! Lisa is one of my dearest and oldest friends...she lives in Boca

Lola Mellowsky said...

Sassy---Totally addictive...I wake up thinking about it and hungry for a fix.

Jen---I'm not ready to post the "after" pics yet, but my mom's Scrabble dictionary---with the two-letter words taped inside the front cover---will be prominently featured; my most valued possession.

Benny---I think you're confusing your Sassys. It's understandable, I mean who has two Sassys in her life but you? There's Sassy Snell and Sassy Sussman...I broke the code years ago. (At least I think I did...I've always assumed the Sassy here is Sassy Snell...)

That aside, really, you think I need to throw out my clarinet? What if my future Jolie-Pitt clan has a woodwind master amongst it?

BFIFM---MAYDAY, MAYDAY! I'm going under! Don't be surprised if I start posing question to you (with pics involved) to get your opinion on how to best utilize the space. Cyber consults anyone? I'm not there yet as I am currently buried in rubble and in the early throw-out stages, but this could be a fun Spew project.

And the bobbleheads...well...I think I have to stand by my man on that one. The collection is pretty impressive, actually. (Early in our courtship I even helped to build it.) In our old place we had the space for random shelves line with bobblehead dolls but not here. I'm not saying I want them up now, but in our dream house there will be a fun, crazy, colorful arts and crafts room and the bobbleheads will be right at home there. (Hoard much?)

kidtaco said...

Thank you Lola!

Rob said...

How is Barry doing?

becky.breslin said...

ohhh shit! No wonder why you were confused today, Steph! hahahahahaha....Losey is right...I was thinking Sassy on this was Sassy Sussy aka Lisasussy on the blog and lo and behold it was Sassy Snell...another Boca girl! You must have thought I was crazy today with our email exchange trying to break the code for you! I'm so sorry to confuse you further! I'm cracking up over here!!!

becky.breslin said...

PS: I love all things Dan...including his bobblehead collection!

Anonymous said...

Ok, fine...if we have to keep the bobbleheads...with the cool art on the walls, we can find some shallow shelves (think Pottery Barn?) and work the bobbleheads in with the artwork. Maybe even a headboard that has a sort of simple crown molding top that we can line them up. Gives a whole new twist to "If the bobbleheads are rockin', don't come a knockin'." :) We gotta funk that shizzle up so you can crank out some funny ass writing. Gawd knows you can't possibly function in that space right now! Nightmares, I tell ya.