Water's so clear you can see to the bottom, hundred thousand dollar cars, everybody got 'em

That there's a conch fritter.

Okay, I’m back.

You guys, I was in Paradise and I simply could not bring you with me.

The last week was spent in the warmth of the Miami sun and then I returned just in time for yesterday’s snow.

MoFo.

My Aunt Gail and grandmother, Mavis, gave my sisters and me (Cherie and I met Katie down there) a week of poolside bliss and the only reason I am able to return here is because I was revived down there. Conch Fritters, massages, orange Creamsicles, cappuccino every morning, Ruben’s Cuban, movie parties, Twizzlers, M&M's and popcorn in bed (oh my), rugelach, trays of chocolate-covered toffees and raisins, heavy cries, Bossa Nova, Miami rainstorms, Gigi talks in rocking chairs and, of course, bottomless glasses of frothy, sweet, fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice which Gail fueled me with all week. I could feel my withered cells restore and bloat on Vitamin C and sunshine.

We booked the trip back in February and when my dad’s brain tumor was diagnosed shortly thereafter, Gail texted me, “Whatever you do, don’t cancel your trip,” knowing how badly we all needed the break and nourishment of vacation. And nourish us, she did. It was a weeklong resuscitation. I didn’t even know how much I needed it until the first day we were there I lay down on the patio, had a cry for all the memories of my mama and the Miami vacations of my childhood that surrounded us and, face to the sun, breathed as deeply and easily as I had in months. The sun and love warmed my soul and body back to life.

Now I am clinging with all my might to a post-vacation high (as opposed to post-vacation depression which sometimes greets me). I even have enthusiasm for all the order I am planning to achieve in these last cold weeks (and even gratitude for them in this way) so that I’m allowed to go out and play when it’s time.

The shit storm is still here, there’s no denying it. But, even if it’s only for this minute, I don’t feel pinned by its heaviness. If only for this minute, I feel like I’m riding the crazy waves it’s churning up.

Thanks G.