I resolved not to write about resolutions and here I go anyway.

This is where our bedroom TV once sat. No more TV in bed---a bad habit which was both born from and further perpetuates insomnia.

Dan put this picture up in its place.

New Year’s resolutions are annoying. It’s not even the concept that irritates me---I get it; a new year, a convenient time for a change---it’s the changes people pick. It’s the five pounds here and the quitting smoking there. It’s the stuff of spending less and writing thank you cards more promptly (she said as her Christmas cards sat unwritten in a bag) that so aggravates me. Those New Year’s resolutions suck. Sorry if they’re yours, they still suck. These are the resolutions that give resolutions a bad wrap. Nobody can stick to these; they’re too...sucky. My new theory is that people need to make more enjoyable resolutions; promises that a person might, I don’t know, want to keep.

What if instead of vowing to do things you don’t want to do, you opt to pick things you actually like? How about instead of deciding not to eat so much sugar, you choose to get more sleep? What if instead of saying that you’re going to stop getting so stressed out, you offer yourself more baths throughout the year? Ya dig? We all have things we like to do that we don’t do enough of; taking time off, napping on the weekends, knitting, walking. Make those promises to yourself. Not to sound all L’Oreal, but you’re worth it. (Note: I like walking. I don’t care for exercise. Trick yourself if you need to.)

I just feel like all the other shit you have to do---losing weight, quitting drinking, cutting back on the meth---all falls under the umbrella of getting healthy. In most cases, New Year’s resolutions deal with health on some level, be it mental, emotional, financial or physical. In my experience (which involves having been unhealthy in all those areas), approaching those goals with rigidity and sternness is not a good long-term plan. (Even financial health. Dan and I never fight more than when we’re completely abstaining from any “non-necessity” spending. This past year we paid down over $16,000 in debt and also took a four-week trip to London. We are richer people for having taken that trip and that’s a lot of debt to be rid of.) I understand the inclination to set strict guidelines---it seems like a good plan---but it lends itself to that massive sense of failure or loss of self-esteem when you inevitably blow it. How many times have you fallen off a diet and then gone on a food bender because you feel, hell, I already failed, I might as well keep eating? It’s just not a good long-term strategy. Goals like spending less or losing oppressive weight are important, of course, but making it a “resolution” stakes the whole year’s success on it and that’s risky. (To me, goals are different than resolutions. Life-enhancing resolutions will help you to meet your goals.)

Resolve to treat yourself better. Take an hour to listen to a favorite CD once in a while or buy a new one and fold the laundry while listening to it. Get a magazine and give yourself a half hour to read it at a cute coffee shop or buy a pair of soft socks. Even those of you who say you don’t have any extra time can find a half hour a month (a week?) for yourselves. Feeling good promotes feeling better. I know I’m getting all Oprah on your ass, but this is how I’m going into this year and I’ve never felt more excited and optimistic. (Cut to February when I’m sticking my head in the refrigerator just for the extra light.)

If you’re going to approach anything with discipline in the new year, make it being nicer to yourself. As someone once told me, children don’t thrive in cruel environments and neither do you---be good to yourself.

That said, my New Year’s resolutions are:

Cook more---because I like cooking and miss doing it. The fact that it will lend itself to becoming a better cook, eating healthier and having more sit-down dinners with Dan; icing on the gluten-free cake.

Read more--- because I love reading and I’m tired of feeling like it’s a guilty pleasure. Payoffs include BOOKS, learning, falling asleep earlier and probably becoming a better writer. (This is why we moved the TV. It was more about giving than taking, see?) One could argue that I might consider reading to be part of my job, but that feels like rationalization and I shouldn’t have to rationalize reading. (Plus, I need to save all my rationalizing for my next resolution.)

Meditate more---Despite the fact that my brain knows that even five minutes of closed-eyes silence could benefit me immeasurably, it is easy for me to cast this one to the bottom of the list due to busyness. It’s a tricky one as sometimes it feels as tedious as exercise (trying to avoid tedium, remember?) but it also could be a midday gift. I truly believe cultivating this skill will be a key to my eternal happiness. You know what’s not? Sending thank-you cards no more than a week after I receive a gift.

You see why I’m excited for 2010? A year of cooking more, reading more, meditating more---that’s something to look forward to! It’s actually getting me pumped for the whole decade. Would vowing to put the laundry away immediately after folding it do that? I think not.

So, enough with your sucky resolutions. Stop being a hater and make a promise to yourself that you want to keep. Do something you enjoy! (Unless, of course, what you enjoy is sending late thank you cards while doing meth and binge eating...at least cut back on all that.)